Pen Pals
by Travlstouchdown
Summary: For Phoebe, Realizing that she's been reborn into the Naruto universe it alright, whatever, and she's far away from canon that there's not any immediate threat. So what's a girl to do? Amass a bunch of pen pals, probably.


**I decided to rewrite this fanfic as I was generally just really dissatisfied with the whole thing. Figures I didn't like chapters I wrote half asleep at like 2 AM, huh? I hope none of the original readers mind the fact I'm rewriting. I just want to tweak some portions of the story and do a little more character build up previously ignored and such, y'know?**

**I wrote all of this while listening to 'Space Lion'. Cowboy Bebop has really good music. I also wanted to fix the breaks I put because I switched the format around a few times. This time around I'm sticking to (break) :-)**

**(break)**

Many stories begin with something cool and exciting like the protagonist in a freak accident, taking a bullet for someone else, or even pushing someone out of the way of a car and dying instead. Phoebe, on the other hand, could only pat herself on the back for the fact that in her seventeen years of life at least she didn't die by falling down the stairs like she always said she would with how clumsy she was.

No, instead, she died by walking in front of a speeding car way too enthralled with singing along to _Space Jam_. When Phoebe was younger she had read several 'tragedies' and every character got to have a deep and meaningful set of lasts words, sometimes even a paragraph. Phoebe's last words were "It's time to slam now." And to be fair she did in fact 'slam now' right _into a car_.

Yeah, fuck you, too, Universe.

The next set of lyrics to Space Jam had been "Everybody get up, it's time to slam now." and if that meant being reborn then Phoebe had clearly achieved that. She wasn't too sure how she was supposed to 'slam' anything or anyone in her current situation, though.

It was actually pretty difficult to for Phoebe to see in her current situation. Everything was really blurry and at first Phoebe thought she had simply broken her glasses. Slapping herself in the head in exasperation quickly fixed that because _damn_ it was actually pretty hard to move her arms and her hands had magically tanned and become tiny.

The doctors who had been increasingly worried with how inactive Phoebe had been since being born were quickly relieved after she let out an earsplitting scream. What they had thought was her delayed instincts was actually just her terrified cry of 'what the fuck' garbled by her inability to talk as she was well, _a baby._

It didn't take long for Phoebe to pass out from shock, her nerves taking a toll from the panic that came with connecting being reborn with _being a baby, again._

**(break)**

It took Phoebe an entire week to really take the time and examine the things around her. In her past life she was very scatter-brained, she was considered book-smart in school but it was also widely known that more often than not if she wasn't writing it down on paper she wasn't any help at all. Take that and combine it with the fact her body had been reduced to that of a newborns and suddenly everything was a lot harder to think about.

What she presumed were her new parents begged for an explanation. Both she and her new parents all had tanned skin, that was fine, whatever. Her mother having eyes darker than a hypothetical abyss and her dad's _palatinate fuckin' purple hair_ were a whole other ball game. At first Phoebe had the misfortune of believing her father had a few screws loose in his head, he dressed like a _ninja_ every single day.

Thankfully, or unthankfully if Phoebe really thought about it, when a nurse's hands were engulfed by a green mist of some sort Phoebe realized that her dad was _not_ cosplaying 24/7. No, Phoebe was the odd one out being born into a universe she didn't even know the _language_ of and had no interest in ever joining.

She could only pray that the genetic bank was a little more kind to her. The ideal situation was that she received her mother's auburn hair and her father's milky brown eyes. Hopefully, she would not receive a blood-limit and she could live a rather casual civilian life. Well, as casual as any civilian who had a ton of pen pals could be. Phoebe wasn't going to just sit around, oh no, she would make _friends._

Her friends would not address her as Phoebe as she assumed the new name she was giving was "Akemi", something that her parents and doctors alike had cooed at her every time she taken the time to really listen to them. It was something she treasured if only for the fact it was the _only_ thing she understood that anyone was saying.

Another minor or perhaps significant detail Phoebe had picked up on was that she was _not_ part of one of the "Big Five Shinobi Villages". She was born in the destitute and often forgotten Land of Grass. It was one of the finer details she had a harder time really picking up on and only really absorbed it once her father shoved his headband into her face, cooing intelligible words, that Phoebe connected the fact that _no it was not a scribble he had on his headband constantly, it was a village's symbol._

A village that only ever introduced about five characters. Two of which were almost immediately killed by Gaara, One who was nothing more than _skin_ Orochimaru hid in, another that was one of Pein's paths, and Karin was only _presumed_ to have been a grass-nin. Phoebe, or well Akemi as she should really be calling herself now, just so happened to be born in the great unknown of this Universe, fantastic.

While Akemi's heart leapt in joy at the fact that she was nowhere near canon it also seemed this joyous detail was negated by the fact she had the misfortune of living the stereotypical "broken household" trope many characters seemed to follow. While her father seemed absolutely enthusiastic to see her he was equally enthusiastic when it came to jumping out the window every time her mother tried to talk to him. In turn, Akemi's mother seemed to have a total 180 in attitude whenever her father appeared.

No siblings appeared to be lingering around so Akemi could only hope she was also an only child. She'd like to skip the whole revenge plotline that seemed to be interconnected with any type of siblings. Itachi and Sasuke did enough of that for _everyone_ in this universe as far as Akemi was concerned.

When Akemi had been around eight years old Naruto was on TV quite a bit, it was probably one of the _only_ shows she was ever able to catch that was playing and also in the anime genre. Sure, there was Inuyasha, but after screaming "InuuuuuuuuYASHAAAAAAA" and "KAGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME" with the television it really loses its spark after the first four times. (Okay no it didn't, but Akemi was _not_ going to admit that to _anyone.) _

That being said, after taking little to no time to watch it after a total of eight to nine years and suddenly details were a lot sketchier. If Akemi was going to be specific, it was after the whole chunin event that she went totally blank on what the hell happened. The only thing she knew past chunin was that there was some clique called Akatsuki and there were at least three different guys who could be considered the boss, well, at least Akemi _thought_ that was the situation. Maybe she was confusing it was something else? Who knows.

This whole rebirth thing was pretty messed up for Akemi but she could also see the brighter side to everything. After all, now Akemi could ask the _real_ questions and get answers. Questions such as "Hey Orochimaru, do you prefer hands on or hands off approach?" She'd have to ask him before the chunin exams, however, huh.

Getting back on track, Akemi was a healthy baby. Healthy enough that she was allowed to be taken home within the first three weeks! In her past life she suffered frequent colds and migraines so this new setup was much more appreciated.

Being a baby required a ton of sleep and food. Akemi did well on the sleep part and would do so for the next three years of her life, practically _hibernating._ However, Akemi did not reach out for food with the same enthusiasm. Breast-feeding was _disgusting._ It took an entire two months for Akemi's parents to realize how disgusting she thought it was and by then it was too late, Akemi was stuck in a stage of perpetual hunger that never quite left, no matter how much she attempted to eat.

Her parents' names were Nori Akane and Kaito Akane. Akemi knew for a fact her mother's last name was Akane but she was unsure if her _father_ also shared the same last name. Akemi was a child born in wedlock and so it was agreed she would take her mother's name when she was first born. Vaguely, Kaito's name spiked an interest of Akemi's in making mixtapes but at the time she unsure of why.

Her new home was both tiny and simple. It wasn't quite a house and it most definitely was not an apartment. There was no one else around for _miles._ If anything, Akemi lived in a hut.

Her mother was either a retired-nin or a simple civilian who spent her days sewing clothes to sell or cooking. Both were done with a gentle hum that set a homely mood to the house. Her father on the other hand _was_ a ninja and was gone for weeks on time to do 'patrol' as he claimed it. The only times he appeared were times in which he was bleeding heavily and Akemi learned then and there that her mother's sewing skills did not stop with threading but passed on to the level of sewing flesh back together just as intricately and quickly as if it was an art form.

It was a skill she hoped her mother might take the time to pass on to her.

Whether or not Akemi became a ninja was a different topic. She could life a simple life, perhaps with a few pen pals, and never go towards anything dangerous. If she went towards the ninja route she might one day hit _canon_ territory which was something she was trying her best _not_ to do.

Maybe she could become some sort of cook. Her mother knew several recipes native to their land and Akemi could also add in all of the ones she had memorized from her previous life. Pizza, Fries, everything delectable and equally unhealthy could exist once again..!

Well, maybe. Akemi would have to fix the fact that even though she was in a new body her hands still shook before she even considered going near an open fire to cook. She didn't plan on taking the route of an 'oops I poisoned your food, sorry' kind of cook.

**(break)**

At the age of one, Akemi had already learned how to walk. It involved several bruises and scrapes but the bright colors of reds, purples, and yellowed bruises all seemed to just be a normal occurrence at that point. She had an extensive list of bruises almost weekly and after a while her mother could do no more for her than teach her which herbs around their home would best help numb the dull aches and pains that came with them. Her clumsiness knew no bounds.

It was also at one that her mother trusted her to walk around outside, alone. At first there was the frightening undertone that her mother must not care about y'know _stranger danger?_ But Akemi quickly discovered there was no life excluding theirs for miles. If she had been able to talk she might've announced that she would go _crazy_ with only plants to talk to.

Instead, Akemi would busily babble to fish in a nearby river. If anyone would have been able to translate her babbling they would have been terrified. Her soft babbles and gentle pats on the heads she gave the fish were more often than not subtly veiled _threats _ranging from 'I'm a _leo, a lion y'know_ a cat that eats _fish' _ to monologues on the constant ache in her stomach and how those fish could help her out a little.

If Akemi had ever picked up a book on health in her past life she may have known that her eating habits led to the constant hunger. Akemi _inhaled_ food, acted like she had yet to see food for weeks. This in fact impaired her time to actually _digest_ the food and gave her body no time at all to actually let out the hormones that informed her body that it had _in fact eaten._

A few months of talking to the fish and Akemi was back at square one, too bored to even look at the fish. She soon adopted the practice of dutifully watching her mother sew things together and even absentmindedly watched her mother cook, sometimes.

Nori was kind enough to allow her to sew with her sometimes, if Nori was holding her hand and directly the needle of course, but it still allowed Akemi to get some practice in.

Most days were spent like this or simply lazing around, waiting for her father's distant return that would come twice a year if she was lucky, once if she was not.

**(break)**

At the age of two, Akemi had achieved walking on two legs. It was a very _sad_ two-legged manner of walking that could probably be compared to that of a penguins but it was still a two-legged gait. It was this same waddle-er, walk that Akemi used to stumble over to her mother and promptly collapse in her lap. Pulling on a strand of her hair, Akemi hesitantly mumbled into her mother's ear "Mo-ther, can you…hmm, can you write?"

Akemi's first word had been "Ma" and it had been screeched at the top of her lungs when her father first began his infrequent visits to bleed on the floor. Akemi had just been minding her own business, stumbling around, when she had promptly kicked her father in the ribs. It was his fault for laying in the middle of the living room, at night, _in the dark._

Nori turned her head slightly to look at Akemi before smiling at her, gently. "Would you like to learn, Akemi?" and Akemi nodded furiously. If she was to secure pen pals she had to know how to write just as well as she had learned how to sew _thank-you-very-much!_

Putting her sewing equipment to the side Nori pulled out a simple book. It wasn't specific on learning kanji or anything; it was just an everyday book with the most basic of children's stories. Nori took Akemi's hand and gently brushed it against the laminated words whispering the letters and words aloud, taking the time for Akemi to repeat before moving along, and they continued to do so until it was no longer morning but rather very late at night.

They spent an entire week like that before Akemi decided her mother was not just nice she was _sweet._ Rotting your teeth and getting cavities kind of sweet. If Akemi ever found a version of Candy-Land in this universe she'd have to replace King Candy with Nori because she was just that sweet.

It was two weeks in that Akemi was informed her birthday was August 4th. Absent-mindedly, Akemi patted herself on the back for achieving Leo status twice within her lifetime, or well, lifetimes.

She was informed due to her father asking in a rather shoddy looking letter what she'd like for her birthday. Akemi also decided that her father _must_ have a few screws loose because it was _not_ normal for adults, especially someone who probably killed for a living, to write a letter to his daughter with crayons.

Akemi didn't even do that and she was _two_. Okay so she was really nineteen but _physically_ she was two. Either way it didn't stop the embarrassment that came with reading the letter.

In the end, Akemi asked for a book that would help her with writing as it was her only real interest at the time.

Her father proved a few weeks later that he really _must_ be nuts because he sent a book on _seals. _Sure, the book helped Akemi get what she considered rather immaculate writing, but it was a book on _seals_, not kanji, but seals. The little squiggles that helped make explosive notes? Yeah, that was in there-page twenty-five to be exact.

So while Akemi gained rather steady handwriting through the year, she also had to pray that the seals she had been recreating wouldn't one day accidentally trigger and do something decidedly bad.

Year two came to an end with a new and improved Akemi who could walk, talk, and write rather well. The only thing that impaired her from being called a 'master' at these talents was the fact she refused to stop using slang in her speech. Her mother could only hope that one day she'd actually prounounce the g's in her 'ing' words.

It wasn't likely, but she could hope.

Her mother also allowed her to sew a few things on her own. It wasn't good enough to sew a human back together but Akemi would be _damned_ if she couldn't make a pretty good nicely knit scarf now.

**(break)**

Year three started with an unexpected visit from Akemi's father. Akemi managed to full off the most graceful of welcomes by starting off excitedly slamming into the door next to him, falling down, rolling over to stare at him, and _then_ climbing up his leg like a wild animal before yelling "Papa!" rather hoarsely.

Nori didn't come to see what the ruckus was and did not come to check the entire visit. Instead, Akemi's father pulled Akemi off of him as carefully as possible before patting her on the head and asking her rather gruffly "Akemi, is there anything you'd like for your birthday this year?" and Akemi couldn't help but feel _slightly_ disappointed, he just got straight to the point. No 'oh wow my three year old child can run, talk, or write haha' not even a 'oh hey, how are you?'

Akemi's eyes glazed over and for a moment Kaito stared at her in discomfort at the sudden mood change as she pondered over what she both wanted and could ask for without any questions being asked. Friends were a no-go, Akemi was pretty sure it wasn't a TV show here and her dad didn't look like he would cut loose anytime soon and kidnap someone for Akemi.

Vacation was also a pretty big no-go, just about every story Akemi could remember reading with a protagonist venturing off with their parent ended up with _murder._ Akemi did not plan to become the Naruto version of Batman anytime soon, _thank you._

A summoning scroll was both weird and pretty much the _worst thing_ she could ask for. Her dad had been playing off the whole 'I'm a policeman!' thing for a while now like she didn't know he was a ninja just from his headband and she didn't have any chakra that she knew of to actually _activate_ a summoning contract. It was also never mentioned around her so it'd be kind of weird for her to just randomly pull the term out of nowhere.

In fact, she couldn't even ask for ninja wire or something similar. Neither of her parents had mentioned the ninja world, chakra, or anything else of that sort. As far as they seemed to be concerned, she only knew of the civilian lifestyle.

Akemi's eyes unglazed as she finally decided what she wanted and she pointedly looked her father in the eye. "Can I have a messenger bird?" She finally asked and her father looked confused at first before silently accepting the odd request.

There wasn't any type of mailing system that Akemi knew of so, hey, why not just ask for something or rather someone who _could_ deliver the message? Akemi felt rather fantastic at the moment. "Alright, Akemi, I'll try to get you one, but who do you plan to write to?" Oh, well.

She couldn't help but blink at him in surprise before feeling her stomach knot up in terror like he knew some terrible secret of hers. "C-Can't I just write a letter and see where it goes?" she quickly blurted out, biting her lip, and avoiding eye contact. She wasn't too sure what she was afraid of, but she _really_ didn't want to screw up and have him back out for any 'safety' reasons.

Her father seemed to accept that simple and rather naïve answer. Being three had a pretty good sway on how effective the answer was, too. No one expects a three year old to really _think_ about why they're doing what they're doing.

Akemi wasn't going to _try_ and put herself in harm, anyway. No 'Dear Itachi, what the fuck man?" would be written anytime in her future, no-sir-e.

For once in Akemi's life, her father stayed the night. Dinner was a rather lonely affair as her mother remained estranged, holed up in her room, and her father showed that he was less than immaculate in cooking.

How he managed to set an apple on fire was something Akemi would never wrap her head around and frankly she wasn't trying to figure it out, either.

By the time Akemi woke up the next day her father was gone and her mother was back in her normal place of residence in the house.

Two weeks later Kaito brought Akemi's first taste of 'ninja magic' to her. It was a Mountain Hawk-Eagle and it could _talk._ Akemi couldn't help but act rather demurely with her father too shell-shocked from how _wonderful_ the bird was and once he had left Akemi knew she was in love.

The bird was decidedly pretty, or handsome as it had quickly corrected her with puffed up feathers galore, and she named it Leon Akane. Leon for Leo, Akemi wasn't just going to name a bird _Leo_, she wasn't that quirky, not yet. Akane was her last name and of _course_ she was going to share it with her new love.

While looking over kanji, Akemi had discovered that 'Akane' could refer to several things if the kanji was changed. Sometimes it could be burgundy, but Akemi related much better with 'Angry Child; Anger was something both she and Leon seemed to share in spades.

Akemi kept true to her wish and almost immediately sent of a letter for just about anyone to answer.

Ambling towards him, Akemi thrust her face into his nape while tucking her letter rather unceremoniously into his wings. Akemi cooed into what she assumed was the general area a birds ear would be "Leon, will you take this letter to someone for me?" and Leon amicably bobbed his head in agreement.

Turning his head to look at Akemi, he gruffly asked "Who is this letter to?" and Akemi could only smile at him rather meekily before muttering "Ah, well, uhm, anyone really…"

Leon's feathers ruffled a little in indignation before he did some form of a bird's sigh and Akemi cautiously took the letter out from Leon's wings and attached it rather carefully to his foot with some rope.

It was pretty shoddy looking and Akemi held way too much trust in Leon's abilities to keep the letter intact, but it'd have to work nonetheless.

Akemi's letter was also just about anything you'd expect from someone with the mindset of a lonely child with way too much free time and a large amount of confidence to write.

_Dear Someone Who I Hope Receives This Letter,_

_I live somewhere very far away, like…fairytale far away, you got it? Be mystified. It's pretty lonely, though, I wouldn't recommend this fairytale if it was one, very badly written. Is my prince supposed to be a fish? That's all that's around. I'm not gonna kiss a fish, either, to get a prince. _

_My ~mystical~ bird has sent this letter to you so please don't kill him! Please reply, so Leon (the oh so majestic bird you hopefully received this from) can give your reply back to me!_

_Killing him would mean that you, uh, killed a….six year olds spirit. I will never recover. Can you do that? The blood of a six year olds bird on your hands? How will you sleep at night? I guarantee that one day I will find you and kick you in the shins to avenge Leon. _

_Anyway, hello! How are you? Where do you live? What's your name? Are you also, uhm, five? No wait, I said six, yeah, are you also six? I hope you aren't, there's only room for one person's bad writing and currently that's my job._

_Please reply and you can join my new club._

_Love, Akemi (Yes, love, I love you stranger! But only platonically.) _

That was the _gist_ of the letter, at least. The writing itself was scrawled across the paper unevenly and looked pretty sad. The paper wasn't lined, either. Akemi should have probably realized this flaw. Seals didn't obey the laws of a straight line, either, so why did she ever expect to inherit that trait from her teachings? Sure, her handwriting was immaculate but only if you looked at the letter sideways.

She also figured that she should claim to be older in her letters so it was less unbelievable but she neglected to remember how old she actually claimed to be and so half way through she forgot how old she said she was.

Akemi could only pray Leon would find _someone._

**I hope this chapter looks better rewritten! I manage to get a whole extra 2k in the first chapter this time by picking up on details I neglected on and also getting rid of some of the more immature writing I had in there, haha. **

**Please remember to favorite/follow/review. I especially love reviews as they help me know how to fix what I've written or what to add on. I'm also all for suggestions as I'm rewriting and anything new I can add to tweak and make Akemi a better character is fantastic!**


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